When stuck in stress, many secretly believe there is something wrong with them (or others around them) in insecurity, they react, keeping everyone in chaos.   The emotional reactions add unto the stress for everyone.   It's not just what you say, it is what you think and how you judge those around you -- most pick up on it or the subtle words you don't even know flows out of you. 

Dr John Gottman proves that if you want to measure the stress in a home, how well parents are getting along, you can measure the cortisol level of the children, this is the hormone that keeps us in fight/flight/freeze mode, it is the hormone that causes carb/sugar cravings, sleep problems, tiredness and insulin resistance.  

Dr Gottman explains that when a person's heart rate is over 100 bpm, their brain is flooded (they are operating in fight/flight), they are incapable of hearing anything being said, they can't think straight.  When we operate in this state of mind frequently, our life can't work. 

For our life to work and to experience higher levels of closeness to others, we need to become aware of when we are in the reactive mind and consciously move yourself out of it and learn how to support your nervous system and body to restore balance.

Understanding how your body deals with stress, is key for getting out of chaos.   The goal is to get out of our sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight/freeze) and operate from our parasympathetic nervous system.   Here is a great video by Dr. Eric Berg DC

Consequences of long term stress (from webmd): 

Additional symptom's of stress: 

  • Dizziness or a general feeling of "being out of it."

  • Problems sleeping.

  • General aches and pains.

  • Grinding teeth, clenched jaw.

  • Muscle tension in neck, face or shoulders.

  • Racing heart.

  • Cold and sweaty palms.

  • Tiredness, exhaustion.

  • Trembling/shaking.

  • Weight gain or loss

I share all of this not to frighten anyone, but because so often people do not understand they are stressed or their loved one's are stressed and they judge and react to the behavior instead of address the root of the problem and supporting each other in a powerful way. 


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